Chicken Torment

So yes. Torment is the word for the chicken tonight.

This morning I knew I was going to make chicken, and it just so happens I have ham and mozzarella cheese. Whoohoo! I love making a chicken roll up so to speak.  Flatten the chicken, layer on garlic, salt, pepper, ham, mozzarella cheese, roll, sear and bake.

So I pull the chicken breasts out of the freezer in the afternoon. They will be defrosted or close enough when I get home ready to flatten out, roll up and cook.

Let the torment begin, stage one.

So, I am home after a huge workout, getting home a little late after 5:00 pm. I Start the oven, ready to flatten out the chicken.
Where is the rubber mallet?  Why isn’t it under the pile of miscellaneous tools and stuff on the dryer?  Yes, that is the perfect spot for a rubber mallet.  So, I make the rounds in the garage, no where to be found, not even a hammer.  No idea where I put that either, or the second hammer.  Glad we don’t have three hammers, that would be really bad to misplace three of them.   THE BIG SIGH! The tools of choice are nowhere to be found,  yet I still need something to flatten out the chicken.  Looking around the kitchen…thinking….thinking…

HA…HA…  A new bottle of dish soap under the sink.

Yes, that is really what I said and what I did.  So here is the picture, which thankfully was never taken.  Me sitting on the kitchen floor, chicken breasts in a plastic bag, hitting them with a bottle of dish soap, and unbelievably enough still trying to be artistic and proper with flattening them out.  In case you are wondering, there is no way possible to be artistic and proper flattening out chicken breasts with a jug of dish soap.

Let the torment continue, stage two.

So now we are past dinner time,  my son comes out..  really hungry.  OK…  broccoli is done, lets have some broccoli while the chicken is cooking.  And again..hungry.  I check the chicken, still not done.  So, lets have some noodles.  Check again..chicken still not done.  REALLY!  Still not done?  So well, maybe my thermometer is not accurate, or placed proper, so I cut into the chicken.  (Dramatic ANGRY SIGH!!)  Crap we are hungry and the chicken truly is still not done.

So much with making pretty chicken rounds.

The plan was tasty and pretty chicken, I even had the skewers a yummy lemon sauce to drizzle on top.  But life jumped in,  we are a hungry family, so drastic measures had to be taken.  I take the skewers out, flatten the chicken rounds out, raise the oven temp and cook for a little longer.

Amazingly enough they still tasted pretty good.

chicken tormentSo, don’t fear change, embrace it , it can still turn out pretty good.
And the proper meat mallet and tenderizer doesn’t hurt either.

1 Comments on “Chicken Torment

  1. I could really identify with this!!! Where’s the mashed potato thing??? Okay, I’ll just use a fork (which only takes 10 times as long…) Or, what can I use for a rolling pin? I guess that bottle of soda will have to do….Sometimes there just isn’t the right tool for the job, or ANY tool for the job, for that matter…and what you end up with as an entrée turns out to be completely different! And oftentimes, SO MUCH BETTER than you could have ever imagined!

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